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New Year, New Posts, New You

Here, the ‘Family Matters’ resolution is to write more blog posts, so that we can bring relevant information to you.

If you are going through a divorce, or other family law proceeding, or are considering one, have you thought about what YOUR resolution is going to be?

Some of you may resolve to get divorced.  That’s a big resolution, and one you have likely arrived at for numerous reasons:  the fighting around your children has gotten to be too much; the unhappiness at home is unbearable; disagreements over financial issues appear insurmountable.  Whatever the reason, we encourage you to contact a divorce lawyer today who may be able to help you identify your rights, and put a plan of action together.

Other resolutions may include to build a better relationship with your children, or to become more fiscally responsible – of importance, a lot of these resolutions are tied to your divorce or family law matter.  As you enter 2015, it’s not too late to consider these types of resolutions:

–     Going through a divorce is difficult on all children – both minor and adult children, divorce doesn’t discriminate between under and over 18.  While your marriage is ending, however, you will remain the parent of your child forever… you will also remain co-parents, which is another topic, for another day.  Think of ways that you can continue or start to strengthen your relationship with your child(ren).  For instance:

  1. Have a set at-home dinner night with your children.  Turn televisions off, ban phones and tablets from the table, and focus on each other.  Discuss your day, or week(s), with each other.  Ask them about their friends, school, work, and really listen.  Having the predictability of knowing there is a set dinner at-home, this scheduled time together, can go a long way.  Also, scheduling in this important bonding time will help you to reconnect.
  2. Do something that will create a memory for your children.  It does not have to cost money, it is the gesture that matters.  Think back to your childhood – do you remember a simple act that your mother or father did that still sticks with you?  Maybe it was a note in your lunch, maybe it was ball games in the summer.  Memories are lasting.  We draw on them in good and bad times, and they don’t have to cost a dime. I bet you don’t remember a doll or action figure that you received when you were younger for Christmas (or, maybe you do, but where is it now?), but you may remember that Christmas that your whole family went sledding together.

–     Prioritize yourself.  If you are going through a divorce, or are recently divorced, you may be feeling down on yourself, overwhelmed, unhappy.  Instead of wallowing, commit to making 2015 the year that you focus on you.  These suggestions may help:

  1. Work off negative emotions at the gym, boosting your confidence and self-image at the same time!
  2. Clean your home, rid it of unnecessary clutter (and, maybe, bad memories) – but don’t go throwing every picture and memento away!  You may want to refer back to a picture at a later date, maybe giving them to your children.  Instead, box up pictures that are difficult to look at now, put them in your attic, and decide to revisit them when you are ready.

–     Reach out to the friends and family members that you haven’t had a chance to reconnect with, while everything has been going on.  Schedule a weekend to visit that friend that lives out of state.  Call your friend up to come over to watch the game.  Make it a point to meet for lunch or coffee weekly or monthly.  Reminding yourself of all of the support you have around you will be helpful.

Regardless of what your resolutions are in 2015, we wish you the best! Sometimes, contacting a qualified CT divorce lawyer is the first step…